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- BYU v. Wyoming Poinsettia Bowl Preview
- BYU v. Boise State Game Preview
- Boney Fuller Week in Review: West Virginia
- Former Cougars Rep the Y
- Stats: Going For 2 a Losing Decision…Every Time
- Boney Fuller Week in Review: Utah
- BYU v. Utah Game Preview
- 3rd Down With the Clown: At the Gathering With Swoop
- Boney Fuller Week in Review: Arizona
- By the Numbers: 2016 Season Preview
- A Boney Fuller Interview With Wilbur Wildcat
- Boney Fuller’s Season Preview 2016
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The unoffending rewrite to BYU’s fight song
- Updated: July 2, 2014
Ryan Teeples wants in on the “fun,” and has a PC fight song for all you Brigham Young And Old supporters.
It finally happened. The University of Utah is reportedly changing the lyrics to its “Utah Man” fight song, pandering to a vocal minority of overly-sensitive whiners.
It’s very sad, actually. I don’t usually care what goes on at Utah, but the school had a great fight song and it’s pitiful the school is choosing to acquiesce to serial complainers.
But, never one to take the chance to make light of a tough situation, I started wondering what parts of BYU’s fight song some might be offended by.
Naturally, I rewrote it to appeal to those with much more refined sensibilities than we barbarians. Enjoy, sissies.
* * * * *
Rise all loyal members of the animal kingdom
Raise your optional invitation to participate in a sporting contest to the misunderstood opposition
You will engage in respectful diplomacy, day or night, except government holidays, Rain or snow but not lightning
Loyal strong and usually not deceitful
Wear the white (but not in a racist way) and blue of all kinds
As we sing get set to spring
Come on felines it’s up to all of us but mostly Uncle Sam
Rise and respectfully support, the non-specific animal mascots are out
Along the trail to doing their best and not worrying about outcome
Rise and quietly express elation without offending anyone whose persuasion causes them to root for another cause
As we unfold our story where there are no winners or losers
On you go to vanquish those ideologically contrary to populism
For alma mater’s gender-neutral peoples
As we join in song, in praise of government and political correctness, our dependency is strong
Well keep our colors to ourselves so as not to make anyone feel bad
And cheer the student athletes of this non-state school