Loyal Cougars

Livin’ The Dream: How the perfect 2017 BYU football season might go

The web site CFBanalytics.com is currently predicting a 13-0 regular season for BYU football. Sane folks everywhere chuckle at this outlandish prediction, but in this post I’ll outline how that dream season might go down.

Portland State

After making it through training camp with minimal injuries, BYU breaks the ice by beating up the over-matched Portland State Vikings. The BYU offense and defense are able to largely go with vanilla schemes and still come away with a comfortable victory. BYU 38, Portland State 10.

LSU

The mighty LSU Tigers come into their opener expecting to use their vaunted SEC speed to maul the BYU Cougars. But the Tigers are dismayed when they find themselves in a slugfest with the old men from Provo. The Cougars load the box on defense and dare LSU to beat them with the passing game; the LSU passing game can’t deliver. And while the LSU defense slows and harasses Tanner Mangum and the BYU offense, the boys in blue win the turnover battle and do just enough to win. BYU 16, LSU 13.

Utah

Utah strolls into LES with all the swagger of a team on a six-game winning streak. Utah limps out of LES with the grimace of a team on a one-game losing streak. BYU 26, Utah 22.

Wisconsin

The Badgers roll into LES as an undefeated, top 10 team. But by now BYU is an undefeated top 20 team. It’s a brawl in the trenches all game long but BYU wins the turnover battle again and in the end wins the game… get this… WITH MO LANGI BLOCKING A POTENTIAL GAME-WINNING FIELD GOAL ATTEMPT. Fans rush the field for the second straight week, it’s pandemonium up in here. BYU 22, Wisconsin 20.

Utah State

The boys from Ogden (hehe) arrive at the game in Logan looking to derail BYU’s season. But they are stunned and dismayed to see that Taysom Hill is no longer around for them to injure. Disheartened by this realization, the Aggies throw in the towel by the third quarter.  BYU 42, USU 13.

Boise State

The smurf turf crew rolls into Provo as a top 25 team. They have a solid game plan but can’t keep their QB upright as the BYU defense mauls the poor dude all game. The Broncos put up a good fight but in the end, they go home with an L. BYU 33, Boise 26.

Mississippi State

BYU, now a top 5 team, strides into Starksville to face their last tough challenge of the regular season. Cowbells are deafening in the stadium but Tanner Mangum is somehow energized by the sound of MOAR COWBELL. He throws for 412 yards on the night. MSU is stunned by the aerial assault and eventually yields. BYU 37, Miss St 22.

ECU, SJSU, Fresno, UNLV, UMass, Hawaii

These teams essentially become roadkill for a top 5, battle tested BYU squad. BYU — A lot, Other Guys — A little.

 

13-0! Then…

Much to the dismay of blue-blood college football programs everywhere, the playoff selection committee includes BYU in the playoffs based largely on the great seasons LSU and Wisconsin had after losing to BYU.

 

What’s next?

See the exciting conclusion to this story in the Disney feature film titled “I Think We Have A Chance To Be Pretty Good” coming to theaters everywhere December of 2030!

 

(Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little dreamin’, kids)

 

7 Comments

  1. Ben Burt (BYU Ben)

    August 16, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    Thanks for the chuckles indeed Geoff. Still, it did help to get me pumped up! At least we have to fight for a bowl appearance this year. That makes it so the season isn’t necessarily a loss if/when we lose a couple (or more) of the games in the first half of the season.

    • Geoff Johnston

      August 16, 2017 at 2:11 pm

      Good point. Being a bowl free agent means there will be some intrigue late in the year even if BYU suffers a couple of early losses

  2. bfwebster

    August 16, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    Yeah, I’d love to see this, but I’ll settle — as I would have for any of the past 5 seasons — for a 10-win season and a final top-25 ranking. BYU should aim for that each year and consider anything better than that gravy.

    • Geoff Johnston

      August 16, 2017 at 11:13 pm

      Amen, brotha. 10 wins in the regular season would be a good thing.

  3. Todd Sallenbach

    August 17, 2017 at 10:02 am

    The author of this article will likely be disheartened very early in the season. I, for one, am continuously disheartened that I do not still get to go to BYU games with the author and listen to him yodel Atuiaiaiaiaiaiaiaaaaa.

    • Geoff Johnston

      August 17, 2017 at 2:28 pm

      Haha. Here’s the next best thing, Todd.

      • Todd Sallenbach

        August 20, 2017 at 7:31 pm

        Love the song too, Geoff. Getting the band back together anytime soon?

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