Loyal Cougars

Who is Robert Anae? A startling discovery

Sam Eagle. Photo courtesy of muppet.wikia.com/

Ryan Teeples digs deep, unearthing a heretofore unknown family tie for the BYU offensive coordinator.

You all know Sam Eagle, right?

He is (was?) the Muppet who didn’t suffer the foolishness of the rest of the Muppet clan.  His staunch patriotism, combined with humorless demeanor tried to enforce balance and focus on a rowdy bunch of sock-puppets.

This personality, combined with thick, lush eyebrows, got me thinking at the start of fall camp. And I made a startling discovery.

The striking similarities in physical characteristics are clear in the image below. From the hooked beak/nose to the naturally scowling mouth to the missing jawline, there is a striking resemblance between these two sourpusses.

Note: I added the hair for affect. As a Bald Eagle, Sam Eagle is, in fact, without coif.

Long Lost Brothers?

Long Lost Brothers?

Robert Anae first appeared at BYU in 1981, meaning he would have been born sometime in the late 50s or early 60’s. In my extensive research (reading his BYUCougars.com and Wikipedia bios) I couldn’t find an actual birthday, and there’s no way in Laramie anyone’s going to ask him. But we’re safe to assume he was born sometime between 1959-1962.

Sam Eagle, on the other hand, first appeared on the Muppet scene in 1975. At that time he appeared to be full-grown fowl, so he’s probably a bit older than Dr. Bob, but not a great deal so.

But when you also consider their surly, no-nonsense dispositions, it becomes perfectly plausible that these two are long-lost brothers. At very least, brothers from another mother/hen.

Sam Eagle is surly, combative and condescending. Robert Anae is also a doctor. Dr. Bob is uncompromising, demanding and antagonistic. He, like Sam, dislikes horseplay.

Both have an admirable staunchness in their opinions and appear to be willing to express those opinions without remorse, regardless of the popularity of such statements.

On the other hand, Anae is clearly of island descent, while Bald Eagles are exclusively of continental American descent.

I don’t recall ever hearing Dr. Bob express an abnormal level of American Patriotism, nor remember Sam Eagle mentioning anything about being fast and hard.

Additionally, Sam Eagle rarely demonstrated the ability to actually get through to the Muppets with his lectures. That sounds much more like Brandon Doman.

Anae, on the other hand appears to have his team buying into his offensive philosophy and pace-of-play. Granted, Jamaal Williams, Taysom Hill and Cody Hoffman should be easier to wrangle than Kermit the Frog, Fozzy and Grover. But the point is, the Cougar offense is rallying behind Anae in a way Sam Eagle (and Doman) only dreamed of.

So maybe they just happen to be doppelgangers for each other. Besides, don’t Cougars eat Eagles?

 

7 Comments

  1. Brett Hein

    August 28, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    This is the best piece of investigative journalism of the 21st century

  2. Francisco R. Ruiz (@FRuiz801)

    August 28, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    A most-excellent article!

  3. Eric V. Anderson (@PR_Dude_Guy)

    August 29, 2013 at 3:59 am

    The risk in aiming for light-hearted is that if you miss, you hit stupid.

    • Brett Hein

      August 29, 2013 at 9:02 am

      At least somebody in the BYU internet space is trying.

  4. Tyler

    August 29, 2013 at 9:37 am

    I just think that Ryan has a man-crush on Anae because he spotted him drinking a Coke Zero…

  5. Chris Phillips

    August 30, 2013 at 11:48 am

    It would be positively un-American to go slow or go soft. -Sam Eagle

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